For your entertainment, here is a list of things I discovered around my house yesterday:

  • One milk-sogged kitchen towel, left in a drippy heap on my kitchen floor, after a child "cleaned up" the milk he spilled in the living room.

  • Two strawberries mashed into my nice black jacket.

  • Approximately 35 dead crickets, in their cricket house, which is a plastic case that sits on a shelf in my kitchen. Just purchased to feed our fire-bellied toads, but attacked and eliminated by hundreds of ants. Oh yeah, and I also discovered the ants.

  • An unidentifiable hard-but-still-sticky substance encrusted in my three year old's hair.

  • After getting the three year old out of the bathtub and getting her into her pajamas, I further discovered that in the time between rinsing the shampoo out of her hair and going to check dinner on the stove, the seven year old had dumped a large amount of shampoo on the three-year old's head.

  • Two sippy cups full of three-day old milk, under the toddler's bed.

  • Broccoli gone bad. "Sca-wee," according to the three-year old.

  • Parmesan cheese, in places parmesan cheese should not be.

  • That a clean room is like an engraved and hand delivered invitation to children to wreck havoc far and wide.

  • That just when I think I cannot take any more messes, I am proven wrong by the next mess that I must "take" with grace, patience, and a sense of humor.

Discoveries are overrated. I want a day in which I learn nothing, find nothing, discover nothing.

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