Blame Jennifer Lawrence

I'm taking my daughter to see Catching Fire tonight.  I have never, ever, in my entire life, gone to see a movie on the same day it comes out.  I kind of wish I were doing this Opening Night thing for something I really wanted to see, but it will be fun to share this experience with my daughter, who has read all the books and is wildly mad for all things Hunger Games.

My husband and I drew straws for who got to/had to go.  I won/lost.

I had intended to buy tickets for the 6:45 show.  At 1pm today, those tickets were sold out.  So like a complete crazy person, I went ahead and bought tickets for the 9:50 show.  

10pm show.  For a 2.5 hour movie.  With my 11 year old.  When I have to be up early tomorrow.

I've lost my mind.

I was going to have today's NaBloPoMo post be about spending a rare evening out with my oldest daughter, but just realized that if I wait until we get home, I will miss the midnight deadline.   Instead, I'll just have to guess what the evening will be like.  Here's how I think it's going to go:

• Really happy girl-child.
• Compelling story.
• Pretty good acting.
• Decent emotional engagement.
• Great atmosphere.  (couches…pizza…beer…movies…natch!)
• Time well spent with the girl-child.

Verdict: Great night!  Great movie!  Grab you daughter and go see it!

Let's hope I'm not catching zzzz's before the credits roll.

* * *

Not a very exciting post, but a 11/22/13 post nonetheless.  Blame Jennifer Lawrence.

* * *

Warning: Dr. Suess Ahead

The kids were out with Rick this weekend, and they saw an ad for The Lorax splayed across the broadside of a city bus.  The ensuing conversation:

Kid #1: "Dad, can you believe that?  The Lorax is rated PG?"

Kid #2:"What?  How can a Dr. Suess movie be NOT GOOD for little kids?"

Kids in general:  "WHAT?  THAT'S CRAZY?  Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, what's wrong with The Lorax?  Why? WHY DAD?????



Dad: "I don't know."

Kid #2: "What is there, Inappropriate Rhyming?"

* * *

After all, everyone knows that rhyming, in the wrong hands, can be dangerous.  That's why I don't let my kids read or write poetry until they are old enough to date.  Or at least old enough to clean the kitchen without my having to call them back 5 times to finish the job correctly.

Actually, maybe that will help me determine if the kids can go see The Lorax: if you're old enough to empty the kitchen drainer-catchy-thingee, you can see the movie.

* * *

7 Quick Takes, Volume 47

Hello Friday!  Love ya' baby!  You look fabulous--what's your secret?

Here are some quick takes for your perusing pleasure.  Please visit our lovely host and sample some links to other quick takers.  And a little comment here and there wouldn't kill ya'.

~1~

Every year, we say we are going to have our taxes done early, and every year, we end up being big fat liars. This year?  Taxes DONE.  In the words of my 5 year old: BOO-YAH!

~2~

So yeah, the kids went back to school.  I am sitting in an empty house, blogging with abandon, and reeling from the tornado that is my house in Getting Out The Door For School mode.  Returning to school was a big decision.  The thing about big decisions is that they aren't usually clear cut.  There are pros, there are cons, and sadly, there is no great big neon sign pointing to the right answer.

THIS is what I need!
photo credit: Being Alexus

I loved homeschooling.  It was damn hard, and it didn't always go well, and there were plenty of days when I felt certain I was accomplishing little more than ensuring the livelihood of my childrens' future therapists.  But the kind of education we all enjoyed, and the "off the grid" lifestyle, and the moments of radiance, all of that made it great.

So why are they back at school?  It's complicated.  It's part financial -- I can work if they are in school and increase our income; it's part administrative, as in the school administration changed and the whole place is moving in a positive direction; it's part preparation, for the different directions my older kids want to go.

I do wish big life decisions came with some kind of assurance, a certificate or something that would officially decree that THIS WILL BE GOOD.

Lacking that, I'll just have to wait and see.  Hate that.

~3~

My 11 year old son is getting ready to apply to the Oakland School for the Arts, a public charter school for grades 6 through 12.  Students are required to apply and audition in their chosen arts area: his is visual art.  We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he really, really, really wants to get in.  There is no question that he is talented, but we have no way of knowing what kind of talent he will be competing against for the open slots.

I want this for him.  Bad.

Wish him luck!  Say a prayer!  Send positivity out into the universe!  Say another prayer, because that vague positivity stuff is a little wishy-washy if you ask me!

And come on.  Look at this.  I mean, really.  I ask you.  What other decision could they make?  Really. Am I right?  Of course I am.

~4~

My other son begins rehearsals next week for A Midsummer Nights Dream.  That's by Shakespeare, you know.

This production is put on by The Greenwood Players, a group made up entirely of young people.  Students in middle and high school direct and act, create the sets and costumes, design the programs, and handle all of the logistics, and my kid gets to participate for free.

And so today, the recipient of the Faith in Humanity Restoration Award goes to the amazing kids of the Greenwood Players.  You are an inspiration to the rest of us, and a lovely antidote to the news of the day.

~5~

Funny text mishaps:  I wrote a text today to let a friend know what time I would drop by to give her something, and accidentally wrote: "I'll be on my way to pick my kids."  After re-reading it, I got a little chuckle, imagining myself at the school saying: "OK, I'll take that one...and that one...but definitely not that one...hmmm, who else do I want today?"  Maybe I could come home with a whole new set of 5!  That might be interesting for awhile!

And that of course made me think of the time my phone autocorrected another text of mine that was supposed to say:

"I will have kids with me."

to 

"I will have LSD with me."

Wow!  That sure would be a game changer!

What's your favorite autocorrect story?  And if you haven't seen this site, then I suggest hiding from the children (this is definitely not kid-friendly content) and get ready to laugh so hard you'll cry, spit, snort, and possibly pee.

~6~

We watched Super 8 for our family movie night a few weeks ago.  That was a great movie.  Did y'all see it?  If not, do yourself a favor and rectify that situation.  Heart, humor, terror, and an alien.  What more do you need?

~7~

I can't think of a final take, so I'll leave you with a photo of one cute newly-minted Kindergartener:

Look out world!  Little T has been unleashed!

Nothing Better

This is the best dressing down I've ever seen on film.  I want to be Katherine Hepburn.  Or her character in this movie.  Or a combination of the two.



* * *

7 Quick Takes: Volume 36

Another Friday's come around,

We've made it here both safe and sound.

Glad you're here with me and mine,

Would you like a glass of wine?

I've had several, so up you catch!

And help me with a plan to hatch.

Find a way (or find some elves)

To make the children raise themselves.

So I can spend my days and nights

On silly fun and fancy flights.

On making life an endless game--

Oh wait--my kids already do the same!

Pull up a chair and share a toast

And visit our 7 Quick Takes host.

Visit the others playing along,

And may your weekend be a song.

~1~

Soccer season starts this weekend with a bang: three kids are in tournaments, which means we have 9 games minimum, and 12 if their teams all do well.

I think I will encourage Little T to take up knitting as a sport.

~2~

I just started a great new book: Unbroken, by Laura Hillenbrand. She also wrote Seabiscuit, although I have not read that. I'm only on page 25 and I am really enjoying it. The subtitle is: "A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption."

Usually, I read only fiction. But I've wanted to change that, and when a friend recommended this book to me the other day and put it directly into my hand to borrow, I was thrilled.

Have any of you read it? And/or: what's your favorite non-fiction book?

~3~

I am still adding to my list of movies to use during our new homeschooling year. My friend Nicole gave me another great idea today: Miracle. Thanks Nic!

Please, share your ideas for great family movies. They can be educational in nature, or pure fun, like the original Parent Trap. We will be watching one movie per school week on our crappy TV, and I'm hoping this will be a highlight of the year. And if anyone out there wants to buy me a flat screen TV, purely to enhance my kids' educational experience of course, I am totally open to that.

Also, let me know if you'd like to receive a copy of my List Of Super Awesome Movies For Homeschoolin' Families or For Peeps Who Just Like To Watch Movies, once it's finalized.

~4~

Another homeschooling milestone reached! Lady E ran into the garage today, where I was failing at yet another attempt at organizing chaos, and announced: "Mommy, Mommy! I finally learned how to arm fart!"

She even offered to give me a tutorial, complete with things she tried that failed. That's the beauty of education: sharing what we've learned with others.

I get a little teary just thinking about it.

~5~

There is a brand spankin' new Safeway in my neighborhood. It is gigantic. It is fancy. It has a sushi bar. It has a Starbucks. It has cafe seating. It's decor is all chocolate and mocha. It has hardwood-ish floors in the produce section. It has new disco mini-carts.

I hate it.

It's way too big and takes forever to get through. It's freezing in there. The dairy section is in a different zip code than the produce department. They now have 4,322 different kinds of cereal instead of 3,457. And their deli still takes a kajillion years to make a sandwich. (I know of what I speak: my first job, which I had for four years of high school was in a deli, and I know how to make a damn good sandwich fast. My fingers itch when I order sandwiches at the Safeway deli. Silly me, I though it might be different with a fancy new facility. Not true.)

A Facebook friend of mine put it best when she posted the other day: "I miss my ghetto Safeway." So do I, Carol; so do I.

I do kinda like the disco mini-carts, though.

~5~

Note to self: do not let practically 5 year old children take naps. You will pay dearly for it come 11pm.

And wouldn't you think a mother of five would have learned that by now? It turns out that sleep is seductive, both for the sleeper and for the beneficiary of a sleeping monkey-tornado.

~6~

"Foods" that irritate me: Hot Pockets. Pizza Rolls. Danimals. Lunchables. Smores-Flavored Pepperidge Farm Goldfish. Really?

Just because you can do it doesn't mean it's a good idea. Really.

~7~

A goofy photo for your Friday. I hope this makes you smile.

* * *

Go Cowboys!

My son took me to the movies today. Sure, he didn't pay for the ticket, but if not for him wanting to go see Cowboys and Aliens, I wouldn't have gone.

He had a lousy start to a tough week this past Monday, and he was pitifully miserable that night. I tried everything I could think of to make him feel better and nothing worked. If anything, all my encouraging words made him feel worse. Why is that? Why, when we are offering our children pure gold to chew on, are they most annoyed with us?

Anyway, I changed tactics. I did what we've all done. I bribed him. "If you'll stop that incessant whining, I'll take you to the movies on Saturday."

Maybe I didn't put it quite that way, but you get the idea. However I put it, it worked, and he finally saw that life wasn't quite so dismal as he feared. Nothing like a little mass media to soothe the soul.

So off to the movies we went today, he, his buddy, and I.

How was it? Well, it's a little predictable. It's got the standard issue characters: the handsome outlaw, the bespectacled saloon owner, the good-for-nothing weakling son, the gruff but good-down-deep Colonel, the Native American with all the integrity, etc . The dialogue is a little tired, with gruff confessions of past crimes and casually dropped lines full of significant information. There's a loyal dog. Of course.

But it was super fun, and sometimes, that's exactly what you want in a movie. I'll try not to give away too much, but I do "spoil" one line of dialogue below, so stop reading if you don't want to know it.

Overall, the movie is great. The aliens are creative enough to be interesting, which must be hard to do after so many alien creatures have filled up the big screen. The clash of the two genres, sci-fi and western, is something new and engaging. And the battle scenes are perfect for anyone who likes to see good guys go after bad guys.

The boys loved it. There were enough surprises and enough violence to keep them on the edge of their seats and happy. The special effects were good enough for me, although I'm maybe not the best judge of special effects, since most of the movies I go see require tissues instead of 3-D glasses. And there were some great last breath scenes, with people speaking the truth right before expiring. The best was the preacher, looking at the outlaw, gasping and saying: "Bring back our people. God doesn't care who you were, son. Just who you are now." Then he dies of a huge gaping wound inflicted by a sticky alien.

Awesome.

So yes, I recommend this movie. It helps if you take a 10 year old boy with you. He will think both the movie and you are awesome.

* * *

Because Every Kid Should Know Who Charlie Parker Is

Let the Muppet Renaissance continue!

We've always loved the muppets around here. They come into our lives for awhile, and then for some reason, we let them go. And then, for some other reason, they're back, better than ever.

Sam's guitar teacher dropped his pick at Sam's lesson the other day, and while looking around for it, he muttered "Mahna Mahna." Thus began the first of 30 or 50 viewings of this YouTube video for the AIRY5 Family.

Next up: Muppets in Space. The Great Muppet Caper. Muppets Take Manhattan. It's been a regular Muppet Fest around here. I have been delighted by how much all of my kids enjoy these movies, from the Practically Teen down to the Tortuous Toddler. The Muppets truly are a crowd pleaser for my crowd.

My personal favorite from the past week of Muppet Inundation? This one, of course:

You never know when and where little nuggets of knowledge will emerge. Thanks to the Muppets, my kids now know who Charlie Parker is. Cultural education for the week: check!

* * *

Why Information Is Good for Kids

image credit: www.cksinfo.com

My 12 year old son has discovered the movie Stand By Me. Classic, wonderful, fantastic movie, especially for teen boys. Granted, twelve is more tween than teen, but he is straining against that particular boundary with every ounce of his hormone-ravaged puberty-bound person.

So I let him watch that movie. It has since become his favorite of all time, and we've had some great conversations, about fathers and sons, about profanity, about friendship and cruelty, about story-telling, and more. Apparently, one of the words used in this movie is also a word he asked me the meaning of years ago. At the time and at his age -- maybe 8? -- it seemed entirely inappropriate to really answer his question, so I opted for the following: "Oh, that's another word for kitty-cat!"

Those of you familiar with the movie will surely remember Vern, the chubby kid who provided so many classic moments. ("That's easy. Pez. Cherry flavored Pez. No question about it.") Well, today in the car, Sam was telling more stories from the movie and he momentarily forgot Vern's name. I offered helpfully, "Oh, his name is Vern!"

Sam, right out there in front of his little sibs: "Right. But they all call him pussy!"

And that, my friends, is why kids need accurate information: so they don't grow up to teach their younger siblings that it's perfectly acceptable to go around calling people pussy.

Can you say BACKTRACK? I can!

* * *

Imelda's Got Nothin' on These Girls

The clothes sorting continues.

I counted 57 pairs of shoes in my girls' closet the other day. 7 pairs of slippers. 11 single shoes missing their mates. Assuming that the missing mates are somewhere in the house, garden or car, that means my daughters own 75 pairs or 150 shoes in total. Because I enjoy public humiliation, I documented the obscene excess and offer it here for your ridicule (and also because I told Nicole I would):

I should say, they did have that many shoes, before the Shoe-Devil visited her wrath upon their dwelling place. Tears were shed. Fingers clutched worn out metallic pink sandals. Bodies dove protectively across Sketchers and Sunglows. Their efforts were in vain.

I have disposed of the excess shoes. They still have loads of them, but then again, there are three of them, and two of them play soccer, and they needed special shoes just for school, and then nice shoes for dressy occasions, plus summer sandals, plus cowgirl boots for dress-up, plus the water shoes they inherited from their cousin, plus....

Oh, who am I kidding? It's pathetic, even after the huge bag of banished shoes has left the house. So I guess my new goal is to strive to be less pathetic. I'm all about setting achievable goals.

* * *

We watched The Incredibles together tonight. What a classic movie, full of memorable lines.

Social commentary:

"It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity!"

Sound advice on being present:

"I never look back, dahling! It distracts from the now."

And something I really wish would work with my kids:

"Stop it! We are not gonna die! Now, both of you will get a grip! Or so help me, I will ground you for a month!"

And given our recent burglary excitement, boy do I wish I had Bob Parr as an adjuster:

"Complaints I can handle. What I can't handle is your customers' inexplicable knowledge of Insuricare's inner workings. They're experts! Experts, Bob! Exploiting every loophole! Dodging every obstable! They're penetrating the bureaucracy!"

It has been 47 days since we were broken into. All of the scenes between Bob and his smarmy, creepy, corrupt boss elicited strong responses from my wii-deprived son: "That's just like our insurance company! We should do that to our insurance company!" Truth be told, I do wish I could get all Elastigirl on my adjuster.

If you haven't seen this movie, ever or in awhile, treat yourself and your family: it's awesome.

* * *

We each wore 3 pairs of girl shoes while we watched it just to make me feel better about the girls' closet. Rick looked super cute in the Mary Janes.

* * *