Monday Morning Pop Quiz

In order to get your intellectual and creative juices flowing for the coming week, I've come up with a little quiz.

As the last few posts have shown, teenager-ness is dominating my life right now.  I'm sure (I hope) that by the time my 3rd, 4th, and 5th kids are teenagers, I will be a pro at this, but for now, everything is new and challenging.  I'm definitely still getting my Teenager Legs.  I'm almost at the point where I don't need to run to the starboard side and vomit over the railing every time there is an upheaval.  Almost.

Anyway, I've got Teenager-ness on the brain.  Thus, this quiz.

(1) Finish the following sentence:  "Trying to get a teenager to help with the weekend yard work is like ___________________."  (Bonus points if you include "with a helpful attitude" after the phrase "weekend yard work."

(2) Scenario: Your teen has an evening guitar recital for which he is less than prepared, and he has expressed to you that he really needs to practice because he can't get through his song without mistakes.  He is spending the entire afternoon hiding in his room, playing video games on his iPod Touch rather than practicing.  You should handle this situation by doing which of the following:

(a) Stuff a sock in your mouth to keep yourself from reminding him one more time to practice.  Stifle the urge -- at great cost to your equilibrium -- to obsess over how he is going to feel if he falls apart during the perfomance.  Ignore the rising anxiety and agitation you are feeling until you explode.
(b) Serenely remind yourself that it's his gig, and his responsibility, and that whatever happens will be just fine and wonderful, either a great performance or a learning experience.  It's all good.  Go pick tomatoes while he click-clicks the afternoon away.
(c) Give in.  Remind him.  Scold him.  Badger him. Yell, if need be.  Make the little ingrate practice.

(3) Which of these actions produces the least desirable result:
(a) poking a bear.
(b) waking a teenager.
(c) smashing your car into a telephone poll.

Write your answers on the back of a gift certificate for a full-service afternoon at the Claremont Hotel Spa and send it to me asap.  (Yes, I did take that from the Car Talk guys...although they don't aim high enough...)

* * *


Teacher Mommy said…
I don't have a gift certificate to anything or anywhere, so this will have to do.

1. ...trying to persuade a skunk wearing a shock collar set to go off randomly to run an obstacle course surrounded by barking dogs. The results are equally pleasant, too.

2. I'm a rebel, so I'll go with D: Give up on that mansion you wanted him to buy you when he became a famous musician. Also, pour yourself a stiff drink and pop some Ativan. Screw the dangers of combining the two.

3. B. Obviously. I mean, do I even have to write the answer, considering? I would also take on an angry puma. The scars would be less severe.
Ha! Remember when my readers all sent in suggestions for waking up a teenage girl when I mentioned how scary an endeavor that was? You might find those useful now.
emireland said…
When one of my children becomes a rich and famous musician or lawyer, I'll get you the GC.
1. No comment on this. I'm equally hard to get out to do yard work ;)
2. B after one reminder in early afternoon about the practice and goals for the recital. After that, we videotape the recital so they can watch later on how good/awful they were. In our house, it is generally, "OOh, what was that!"
3. C - since I have a teenager closer to driving age who is also a notorious back seat driver. I've also been lucky that 7:15 am jazz band gets them up and out before the sun rises. An extremely loud and annoying alarming clock and a father who stomps through the house at 6AM does the trick

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