04 May 2010

Random Rants and Reflections

The garden tour is over. Which has left a great void in my brain, which I have filled in the last few days with a startling number of rants and reflections. I share some of them with you, so that I don't become a facebook embarrassment with too many "from left field" status updates.

Random #1: Today, a mom friend of mine was telling me about her morning getting the kids to school, and about how she had not managed to pack her girls' lunch and so had to buy the "hot lunch" du jour. Actually, Tuesday is the only day at our school that we can buy "same day" hot lunch: the other hot lunch days require a pre-order. Whenever a Tuesday rolls around and I'm not ready for lunches, I rejoice. She commented to me that she had to buy the school lunches today because she's "the loser mom who didn't have stuff for lunches." I've called myself this same thing before, for some reason or other, usually having to do with my perception that I am failing at some essential element of motherhood that all the other mothers are accomplishing with ease. But hearing my dear friend say it really struck me. We should strike that phrase -- loser mom -- from our vocabularies. It's the little things that break us down, that erode our confidence and our ability to parent our kids with gusto. It's the little things that make us feel outcast and incompetent among Uber Moms. Here's my realization: There are no Uber Moms. There are just all of us, trying to do our best and mostly doing a damn good job, pouring our blood, sweat, tears, heart, soul, energy, creativity, best thinking, hardest problem-solving skills, and time into creating people. So to my friend, to myself, and to anyone else out there who needs to hear it: Give yourself a break. Practice being aware of how hard you work and how much you do for the sake of your family. Stop comparing yourself to others, especially to the mom who packed nutritious lunches for her kids today. Who knows, maybe she whacked her daughter upside the head with the full lunch box? Or maybe she dressed her kids in dirty socks (the horror!) or forgot to return a permission slip. And maybe she's looking at you, bringing the grapes (washed, even!), juice and doughnuts into your daughter's class for her birthday, and calling herself a loser mom because she's comparing herself to you. The phrase "Loser Mom" is hereby banished from the Kingdom of Motherhood.

Random #2: I miss my Graves Disease. Let me tell ya', if you're gonna have a disease, and you happen to be a mom with very young children and you are looking for new ways to pack more hours in the day, then this is the disease you want. I lost weight, never needed to sleep, had boundless energy, and could eat an amazing amount of food. In fact, most of my days were organized around what and when I was going to eat next. It was awesome. I once ate an entire box of these cookies in one sitting. I so wish I could do that again. OK, the constant shaking was annoying, but I was willing to put up with that for the sake of the other benefits symptoms. Alas, I ended up on medication, which took care of the whole situation, but not before I enjoyed a good four months of eating with abandon and never needing to sleep. Apparently, Graves Disease brought on by delivering a baby -- thereby making the hormones go all wonky -- can be beaten back into submission by getting pregnant again, which I did. Here's hoping it comes back. It's either that or meth, and I like my teeth.

Random #3: OK, Kerri, I need a little more help with the whole be in the moment in my messy house thing. I have a 1st Communion party to prepare for this weekend and a house with chaos of epic proportions. Yeah, yeah, the people will come to help us celebrate, but damnit, I want a clean house! I want some order, some floor space, some room to breathe, and a place to put down my ever-lovin' cup of coffee. I don't so much want the Fort That Love Built as the House In Which Everyone Does What I Want Them To Do Pronto and What I Want is SOME CLEAN. Yeah. So. If anyone has any advice about how I can get through the next three days and land on Saturday with a clean, inviting house that was achieved without screaming or tantrums (theirs or mine), please enlighten me. I want me some order and I don't feel like being all zen about it. Results, people. That's what I want.

Random #4: My kid is a genius. He discovered, all on his own, that if you burp into a glass soda bottle, you can create a really cool echo. Gifted and Talented kids: move over. There's a new game in town. He also discovered the phrase "I hit pay dirt!" today and has been using it all afternoon and evening, rarely if ever in the right context, but making me laugh every time. He's a keeper.

Random #5: I thought life would slow down after the garden tour. I was wrong. Many, many things have rushed in to fill the void, although not one of them was a hamster, thank God. :)

Say good night, Gracie.

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4 comments:

Teacher Mommy said...

I'm gonna go along with you on the "loser Mom" thing. I do that WAY too often. I shudder to think about what I'll be facing next year when I actually have to PACK lunches again! Sigh.

Viv said...

I am tantruming right now because my oldest son has now missed the bus because we can't find two of his socks...I am resisting the urge to call myself a loser Mom, but, just barely. Mostly, I would like to tap dance on my child's head until *he puts his flipping socks in a laundry basket when he takes them off!*

The hamster passed yesterday. Poor little thing.

nicole said...

goodnight gracie.
i am so relieved to hear there are no more loser moms.

Kerri said...

oh yes, there are threats if work is undone in this house (and the work is very minimal). My oldest daughter had 24 hours to put away her clean laundry I had washed, dryed, folded and organized. I got into, started and back the car out of the driveway, leaving her @ home as we were heading to a fun mother's day event in a winery. But of course, I am me (and not me-an) and I waited for her to get the job done (in the car)...but at least I did try to follow through.
PS.. Bill and I figured out a long, long time ago, the best marriage therapy we have ever paid for is a semi-monthly visit from housecleaner. It's an expenses I can always justify as saving my marriage. I know it's not in everybody's budget (including mine) but then again, I can't afford not to have her, for the sake of my sanity and my family