7 Quick Takes, Volume 57

7 things to make you laugh, think, and smile.  Visit the original.  Visit some others.  Leave some comments.  7 quick comments.  That's your goal.

And now:

~1~

Great TAL show on education and what kids really need to be learning.

~2~

Notwithstanding the profanity, this pretty much sums up my life's philosophy.  Now, what's interesting, is that I see no conflict at all between this sentiment and my Catholic faith.  So I don't think I need to convert to the Church of the Latter Day Dude.  The RC's have got me covered.

source: I originally saw this on Facebook,
but traced its roots to this site: http://dudeism.com/

~3~

Today is dress like a book character/donate a book day at school.  Which had me making stops at Target and Barnes and Noble last night far past dinnertime, with all five kids, spending too much cash to buy books to donate to the school and outfits for Atticus Finch, Ivy (of Ivy and Bean), Sally (of The Cat in the Hat), and some character from Percy Jackson I can't remember the name of.

Now, just a week or so ago, I passed on school pictures because we couldn't afford it.  But give me a cause like promoting a love of reading in my own kids and donating new books to others, and I'll apparently spend all kinds of money I don't actually have.  My altruism is fervent, if not wise.

And anyway, those school picture packages are a total racket.

~4~

My 10 year old daughter recently got 12 inches of her hair cut off.  And we learned just how easy it is to donate to Locks of Love.

We were out of town, at a soccer game about an hour away, and she decided she wanted to get her hair cut.  Ping!  I thought: what about Locks of Love?  She said sure.

So, after the game I searched for a Supercuts on my Intermittently Smart Phone, found one a few blocks away, googled Locks of Love, discovered that anyone can cut your hair as long as they know ahead of time to pony-tail it and not let it hit the floor, and an hour later, we were back in our car with a Supercuts bag containing a 12 inch pony tail and SuperCute 10 year old sporting a big ole smile.

Just so ya' know, in case you happen to have 10+ inches of hair you aren't using, this was the easiest good thing to do ever.

Before...

After...

For Locks of Love

~5~

I'm slipping, people.  Really, really slipping.  The other day, I took my 12 year old to Taco Bell.  While I do deserve some props for him getting to be 12 before Taco Bell fare ever passed his lips, I still feel, deeply, the Shame of Fast Food Consumer.

But it didn't stop there.  No, this morning, when I stopped for gas on the way to drop him at school, and because there wasn't much in the way of lunch food for him at the house, I actually assembled his lunch from a gas station convenience store.  Pa. Theh. Tic.

How do people who work full time manage to feed their children without compromising their ideals or dying of shame?  This is not a rhetorical question.  I need answers!

~6~

This is your teenager's brain.    This is your teenager's brain on plain old, developmentally normal hormones.  Watch and learn.

The Mysterious Workings of the Teenage Brain



This is all very interesting, but I have to admit, "synaptic pruning" scares the hell out of me.

Thank goodness the impressive Sarah-Jayne Blakemore also says this:  "This is a period of life where the brain is particularly adaptable and malleable.  It's a fantastic opportunity for learning and creativity.  So what's sometimes seen as the problem with adolescence--high risk taking, poor impulse control, self-consciousness--shouldn't be stigmatized.  It actually reflects changes in the brain that provide an excellent opportunity for education and social development."

Translation: no matter how many times my teenager loses his soccer ball, it's not too late!  YAY!

~7~

Do you yell at your kids too much?

Because I certainly do not, and I do not need this resource at all, but apparently, or so I've heard, there are parents out there who actually raise their voices sometimes (shocking!), and maybe perhaps could avail themselves of the concepts in this book.

Seriously, it's about so much more than not yelling.  It's about raising happy kids.  Even a non-yeller like me (font of serenity that I am) can use some help in that endeavor.  And you?

* * *

Happy Friday.  *Clink!*

* * * 

I Don't Need Parenting Books. I Have Friends.

This family boasts three daughters.  Three smart, funny, sweet, strong, wonderful girls.

We are in for a world of hormonal hurt that I'm estimating will last for the next 12-14 years.  In the past few weeks, I've had my first glimpses into what that is going to be like.  In other words, I have seen the face of a girl teenager and it has struck fear into my heart.

So I turned to some friends who have daughters older than mine, and I described the situation thusly:  “I've seen her get more upset and indignant in the last week than I've ever seen in her entire life.  If you stacked all her tantrums from ages 0-10 in one pile, combined they wouldn't be as forceful as some of her reactions to things this week.  I'm experiencing cognitive dissonance: she is being difficult.”

And their responses were golden, so I thought I'd share them here for any of you with pre-hormonal daughters, so you might benefit from their words of wisdom.  

Friend the 1st had this to say, after consulting with her own daughter:  

"Advice from the daughter perspective:  She said, "Don't tell her to chill out because she doesn't know that she's not chilled out."  So, pointing out that she's being hormonal is not helpful, according to my daughter, but she couldn't say what would be helpful.  She says, "Yeah, I guess" to whether it helps when I tell her that I think she needs to go be alone or go exercise.   As a future nurse I prescribe plenty of wine to the mom.  You have to be the steady one in the middle of her hormonal storm.  If you need fellow moms to help you drink the wine and commiserate, I am here for you :-)”

Friend the 2nd provided a numbered list full of helpful gems.  If, after reading this list, you want her address to send her a thank you bottle of wine, I will provide it:

Welcome to the club! ;-) 

We did this first with our first daughter (still in it), which made it easier to recognize when our second daughter began exhibiting the same symptoms and behaviors. 

I concur with [Friend the 1st's daughter]. Telling them to "chill" only makes them more pissed off. Does me too (BTW).

Here are a few things that has helped us weather the storms (as erratic as they are).

1.     Limit, or reduce sugar intake. It exacerbates the intensity levels. They fight this, but with our girls once explained that it is making them crazy they are more willing to acquiesce (the hormone fits are no picnic for them either.)

2.     Exercise helps. Get the heart pumping, legs moving and the focus changes.

3.     Loud happy (up-beat with positive message) music can get them out of a particularly angry or sad funk. Dancing crazy as a family in the living rooms while listening has done the trick in the past as well.

4.     One on one time with Mom (or Dad) but with Mom it may open up space to share how you went through/go through the same experiences and how you have learned to manage.  

5.     This talk time can also give you the opportunity to validate that it totally sucks! that its normal, and over time the hormones will even out and become more cyclical—allowing them to manage them more easily. Holding and being quiet also seems to work at times— (sometime even better if they are so sick of hearing the sound of your voice but still need you.)

6.     Avoid the power struggle. Just like all the other kids. Say it, stick to it, and then disengage from the debate. Easier said than done, but is effective.

7.     Protect them from the other less sympathetic siblings.;-) Or rather, protect the other siblings from her. In other words, give her a little more space. 

8.     And when you are a hormonal mess too.....well.... grab the potato chips, dark chocolate, Valium (if you have a source;-), bottle of wine and head for the door ;-).

That is pretty much all I have gleaned from my journey of doing it wrong enough times to figure out what worked. Of course, every girl/women is different so....Hope its helpful. If I think of anything else, I will let you know. 

I have awesome friends.  My daughters should thank them.  Yours too.


* * *

I Am Not A Pillow

I have three daughters whom I adore. They adore me too. They like to be close to me. Really, really close to me. They smother me.

I love cuddling with one of them. Doesn't matter which one, but one seems to be the limit for me to be able to enjoy the time together. Any more than that and I turn into She Who Must Not Be Touched.

When my family is, say, watching a World Cup soccer game, which we've been doing a fair amount of, I usually end up standing behind the couch. If I attempt to sit down, I am promptly covered in girl children. They sit on any available portion of my body, my legs, arms, head, if need be. They attempt to achieve as high a percentage as possible of body to body contact. They crush me.

When I sit down to, say, write a blog post, it takes about 5.3 seconds before a girl child (or two or three) is pressing against my arm, leaning into my side and invading my space. Like right now as I type, and keep having to correct spelling because it's hard to type correctly when my left arm is supporting a 5 year old and my right leg is trying to keep a three year old at bay. And my seven year old is trying to engage me in conversation.

Once draped all over me, they usually sit peacefully for another 5.3 seconds before the squirming and bickering begin. They want to touch as much of me as possible, but go bananas if "her" leg touches "hers." They compare how much space they each have and make pronouncements about fairness and justice. They make life miserable.

It's not a nice feeling to be a mom who says: "NOPE!" as soon as a wee girl makes her way over to my lap, setting off the radar on the other two girls: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP LAP SITTING IS TAKING PLACE BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP MUST JOIN THE PARTY BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

It's not a nice feeling to avoid physical contact with my girls.

I do love them so, but the amount of closeness they require is exhausting.

So my mothering challenge for today: Lovingly explain to my daughters the concept of personal space, without hurting their feelings, so that I neither bark at them nor become their pillow, so that all four of us arrive at the end of the day feeling like we got our needs met: their need to touch me as often as possible and my need not to feel like an overworked sheep at a petting zoo visited by a ADHD-infested classroom of kindergardeners.

Sounds pretty impossible to me. But I'm all about attempting the impossible, so let's see how this goes.

* * *

My Foodie

What do you want to serve your friends at your birthday party, Lola?

Lola: "STEAK!"!

* * *

The family reminisces: "Remember when we all went to the Exploratorium? Remember the shadow room? Remember the human brain?"

Lola: "Remember the steak?"

* * *

The Buddy Club performer: "So what are your favorite foods, kids?"
Kid #1: "Pesto pasta!"
Kid #2: "Pizza"

Lola: "Steak!" (with slightly maniacal look in her eye and big crazy grin)

* * *

She also loves: brussels sprouts...garlic, as in she snacks on whole cloves...broccoli stalks...salmon...cayenne pepper...spicy guacamole...spicy salsa...spicy ribs...paella. Her palette is truly amazing. She is headed for an exciting and varied eating life.

Just think: someday, she might be cooking all those wonderful foods for me! Now that's what I would call a great return on an investment -- here's hoping it pays off, preferably before I have no teeth and all she can do is wipe the dribble from my chin.

* * *

Can You Say DIVA?

photo credit: Auntie Debra

I love this kid. She is such a great combo: pink dresses and black sambas, fashionista shades and dirty fingernails. She even has a Dirt Diva hat. (Want one? Click the link and you too can garden in style.) Perfect. Love it.

She also seems to be developing an interesting habit. I first noticed this last soccer season, when she spent the better part of every Rockets game chasing, pummeling, and harassing a certain 9 year old boy, an older brother to one of our Rockets players.

Then, at the Summer Concert event we went to last Friday, I spied her full on chasing a boy she met that very evening. She runs like a beast, and she was totally after him.

Then, last night we were at the park with some friends and again, there she is, chasing a boy she just met, and being chased in return.

Hmmm.

Interesting.

What am I going to do with her when the real chasing begins? I don't think I did much boy chasing when I was her age, certainly not when I was in high school. I suppose, as has been my experience with all of my kids, she will teach me how to be a mom in those moments.

* * *

Soccer + Girl = Awesome

Gotta love the look: