Posts

Embrace the Face

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Every wrinkle, a memory. Every crease, a story. Every line and bump and spot and blemish, part of the soulful journey of my life, the trips around the sun and to the grocery store, the steps taken in joy and in pain. Every imperfection a testament. I embrace them all, and wear them as badges of my strength, power, resilience, and capacity for love. Age, I embrace the lessons you have to teach and the joy you have to cultivate. * * * Whatever. I don't believe a word of that, but my teenage daughters are all about manifesting shit, and what the hell, it's free, I thought I'd give it try. If you need me, me and my wrinkles will be over here waiting for transformation. * * * image source  

Recipe for a Happy Life

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image source For Rick on his birthday.  Find someone who delights in words, marvels at them, picks them up like precious stones, turning them this way and that to see colors and variations. Someone who sees possibilities in angles and spaces and movement, for whom patterns are beautiful. Someone who protects and curates your bottle cap collection, even if you don't have one. Someone who wears work shoes for work purposes. Someone who speaks, who gives voice to what needs to live out loud; you won't always understand, but you will be more grateful with each passing day, week, month, and year. It also helps if he loves — truly loves, with deep devotion — a tree.  Find someone with the gift of thrift, who will discover perfectly soled sambas, sturdy backpacks, the sweetest little ceramic bowls, more glassware than any kitchen cabinet can hold, and endless treasures you did not know would bring you joy. Someone -- that special someone -- you can't wait to annoy for the rest of

10 Things I Am Still Grateful For, Plus a Few More

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 Seven years ago I wrote a post on Thanksgiving with a list of the things I'm grateful for.  Today, I am grateful for that list, because in this crazy mixed up totally effed up year, it's nice to see that some things remain true.  Actually, it's not just " some things " but the most important things -- those remain solid, constant, more true than ever.  I am still grateful for every single thing on this list, so I am reposting it, and adding a few wonderful things I am newly grateful for, since 2013.  Here's what I wrote in 2013: # # # I have only 16% power left on my laptop and I'm too tired and comfy to get up and find the power cord, so I better rip off a thankful list right quick.  And so: NPR .  My life would be less than it is without everyone at NPR.  Thank you from the bottom of my well-informed heart. Coffee .  My children would be in danger without coffee.  Thank you for keeping me sane, which in turn, keeps them safe. Good pillows .  Nothing fee

My First Beautiful Thing

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Cold kitchen, whistling kettle: the water is ready, the ground awaits. Now for the pour-over: watching steam rise, Chemex fill, and sparkly diamonds dance as the water settles and filters – suspends me every time. I lift the good, heavy pot from the gleaming chrome and pour. The warm, puddle-y sound, quiet but lifting, rising in pitch as the mug fills, is dark and swirling. A splash of cream and voila! At this early hour,  I've done my first beautiful thing.

I Recommend Remember When

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Parenting is hard.  There are many things I’ve gotten wrong over the past 20+ years, and I feel those failures acutely and often.  Some days, these people I am raising seem like a pack of cynics, a swarm of pessimists, a horde of disaffected youth.  My 16-year-old daughter said just yesterday: “We’re all just riding around on a giant rock. Nothing matters. There’s no point to anything.” Parenting Fail?  Teenage angst?  High School junior feeling deep in her core that final exams are cruel and unjust?  In weaker moments, I’m sure their negativity is all my fault. But on this fine, cold morning deep in the heart of 2020, the Marx Brothers might just prove me wrong.  Last night, the kids hopped on one of those fabulous memory trains, riding “Remember when…” moments endlessly through the evening.   Remember when all the girls slept on toddler mattresses lined up on a futon frame in their tiny bedroom not fit for three? Remember when the boys accidentally locked themselves in their own clos

Maybe Messy is What I Need Right Now

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Let’s face it, we are all exhausted at this point.  I call it the Coronelection Complex, and it’s hitting me hard. Texts from friends, zoom calls with family, and tweets from strangers all indicate that I’m not alone.  We are a weighed upon people, are we not?  One way Coronelection Complex is showing up for me is that I often feel like taking to my bed.  All I want to do is go to bed early and wallow.  Sometimes I read.  Sometimes I stare at a blank page with a pen in my hand. Mostly I doom scroll, against all my better judgment.  Very little feels like what my restless heart is actually looking for, but my bed and pillows keep calling.  And when I answer that call, all I want to do is shut the rest of the world out. My family has other ideas. It’s as if my lying down in a stupor sends a radar signal throughout the house: BUG MOM.  IT’S TIME TO BUG MOM.  The dog gets the signal too.  It doesn’t take long before beating hearts both human and canine descend on my bedroom to create mayhe

So Today Was Hard

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Today was hard, which started two days ago.  Two days ago, we spent $1400 on car repairs. All needed, all good, all regular wear and tear, and we did a whole bunch of things all at once. It still hurt.  Last night, someone stole the catalytic converter off of one of our cars. This is the second time this has happened to us, the first was several years ago. I was awakened last night to the awful sound of the saw bad guys use to snatch the catalytic converter from a car's undercarriage. One quick growl-whirr got me up and to the window, wondering who the hell was using machinery at 2 am. On my way to the window, I heard the second growl-whirr , for just a bit longer, and realized what was happening. Pulling the curtain back, I couldn't see anything right in front of the house, but then a car sped past my window coming from the left, from where our two Priuses (Pri-ii?) were parked out of my line of sight.  Rick went outside and started all of our cars -- successfully. So