Pathetic, But Effective
When the first four of my children were all under school age, their TV time was severely limited. They didn't watch any regular "shows," and the TV was never on during the day. They watched a handful of movies over and over and over again, but didn't really know any better and were quite happy in their ignorance.
Enter Child #5. She came of TV-watching age in a household that had discovered I Carly and Sponge Bob, that was deep into Dora and Diego and Max and Ruby. She skipped right over Sesame Street and goes directly for full length movies starring the Teen Idol Du Jour and featuring lots of teeny-bopper behavior. This is perhaps why she once called me "smokin' hot," talks to her stuffed monkey about all her boyfriends, and shakes what her mama gave her with a little too much verve.
She watches too much television. My fault. I let her. I can't stop myself. I resolve to keep the TV off, but I crumble too quickly and before I know it, Miss Spider, Carly, Dora, and Lyndsey Lohan (think Freaky Friday) are taking over my living room. Guiltily, I dash around doing laundry, or returning emails, or weeding the garden, trying not to listen the screams of her dying brain cells as they give up the ghost.
It has to stop and today is the day. We are firmly committed to having a NO TELEVISION DAY today.
But I know myself, and myself is weak. So I did the only logical thing. I disconnected the cable cord and told her the TV is broken. She keeps asking me if it's fixed yet; it's easier to lie to her than to tell her that she is not allowed to watch anything. We've already made it to 10am without Diego.
Pathetic. But Effective.
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