Morning Limericks

There was once a mess on the floor
That kept me from opening your door.
The mess is now clean;
It's a quite different scene,
But the stink'll keep it shut evermore.

* * *

As a mother, my duty is dinner.
If I fail, you all will get thinner.
But as sure as you're mine,
I'd rather have wine.
I bet my choice will not be the winner.

* * *

I'm trying to raise you well and right,
I'm trying to guide you day and night,
Do you mind if I just took
A glance at my Facebook
Checked my email, stats and website?

I hear you! Your brother just smacked your face.
And your sister is throwing your stuff every place
But wait a sec, honey,
This blog is so funny!
Can you go see who just broke that vase?

I'm sure I'll come out from behind my screen
In time to save you from your brother the tween.
But until I do,
Jump over that goo,
And step back: don't crowd my scene.

What's that you say? You want to play Wii?
You want as much screen time as me?
I'm sorry you cannot,
I won't let your brain rot.
It's not fair, but who said it would be?

* * *

You are toddler, and cute as a bug.
Upon heartstrings you certainly tug.
But defy me once more
In the midst of a store
And I'll sell you as quick as a hug.

* * *


Comments

Kelly said…
Very creative, mama! I'm partial to the last one, myself. I'm always threatening to eBay the kiddos.
Teacher Mommy said…
LOVE them!!!!! Brilliant, seriously. And oh so true....
Homemaker Man said…
This blog post was totally fun
I'm sad that it's already done
There is no denying
one's kids can be trying
like earthquakes and Attila The Hun

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