Morning Limericks

There was once a mess on the floor

That kept me from opening your door.

The mess is now clean;

It's a quite different scene,

But the stink'll keep it shut evermore.

* * *

As a mother, my duty is dinner.

If I fail, you all will get thinner.

But as sure as you're mine,

I'd rather have wine.

I bet my choice will not be the winner.

* * *

I'm trying to raise you well and right,

I'm trying to guide you day and night,

Do you mind if I just took

A glance at my Facebook

Checked my email, stats and website?

I hear you! Your brother just smacked your face.

And your sister is throwing your stuff every place

But wait a sec, honey,

This blog is so funny!

Can you go see who just broke that vase?

I'm sure I'll come out from behind my screen

In time to save you from your brother the tween.

But until I do,

Jump over that goo,

And step back: don't crowd my scene.

What's that you say? You want to play Wii?

You want as much screen time as me?

I'm sorry you cannot,

I won't let your brain rot.

It's not fair, but who said it would be?

* * *

You are toddler, and cute as a bug.

Upon heartstrings you certainly tug.

But defy me once more

In the midst of a store

And I'll sell you as quick as a hug.

* * *