My New Domesticity Plan

I have trouble getting motivated to clean my house. Oh, I do a spit shine nearly every day, and that works decently. But really cleaning it, beyond "good enough," happens once in a dry mattress. We know that having people over is about the only thing that will make us really clean. I like having folks over, because even I prefer being somewhat social to living like a bat, and also because I get to enjoy the benefits of having an orderly home, at least for a short while.

But there's a lot more that goes into hosting people than just cleaning the house. There's the food preparation, the extroverted energy required, the clean-up afterwards, the lost facebooking time, and the list goes on. Maybe there's a more practical way to get myself to clean the house besides having a party every weekend.

I was talking with a friend of mine recently who spent the past couple of years being a foster mom. She was, I'm sure, the best foster mom ever. I can't imagine a better fit for her warm, direct, tough, goofy, unconditionally-lovin' self than helping kids get through a difficult time in their lives.

She recently moved back to California, so we were on the phone arranging for her to come over for dinner with her fabulous son; she and I were pregnant at the same time 12 years ago, so my oldest boy and her son have been buddies since the womb. I thanked her for coming over, since I needed the extra motivation to dig out of my normal clutter and restore some order around here. And then, she mentioned that as a foster parent, she had twice monthly visits from a social worker, which provided her with the spark she needed to gussy things up a bit around her house.

AHA! That's it! All I need to do is turn myself in to Child Protective Services, get myself in the system, and BAM! Twice monthly strangers in my house who I do not need to cook for, entertain, or share stuff with, but whose visits will get me to clean up on a regular basis! It's PERFECT. I'm so pleased.

Now I just have to figure out what to turn myself in for. I'm thinking all the yelling I do is a good place to start.

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