Fuel

image credit: West Point Steak House

We bought another fire-bellied toad today. (We've sort of lost a couple in the past...but we've reformed our weak terrarium-covering ways and that won't be happening anymore.) Anyway, this isn't about the toad, whose name, for now, is Bob. This is about fuel.

On the way to the East Bay Vivarium, I noticed I was perilously close to running out of gas. Cenzo asked me what happens to the gas to make it go away. I sort of stumbled through an answer until I hit upon an analogy I knew he would relate to. He loves to make fires in our outdoor firepit, so I told him it's like adding wood to a fire; eventually, you need to add more fuel to the fire because it burns up. The same thing happens with car fuel; the engine burns it up.

To sum up, I said: "So it's fuel. Just like you have to add more wood to a fire, you have to add more gasoline to a car."

And my cute little 8 year old carnivore piped up: "Just like you have to add more steak to my plate!" She's consistent!

* * *

Shhhhhhh! Don't look now, but I'm home alone. Two kids are at the park with the dog (sweet Jesus, they are finally old enough to do this on their own); two kids are next door bugging the neighbor; one kid is at a soccer field with dad having some one-on-one time. I cannot plan for these moments; they drop like manna from heaven. I estimate I have exactly 2.34 minutes of peace and quiet. I'm pouring a glass of wine with one hand and typing with the other. Score!

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Sad and Wrong on So Many Levels

We are a great and powerful country.

We have a grand and proud history.

We stand for human dignity.

We stand for freedom.

Apparently, that freedom includes the freedom to do really, insanely stupid things in the name of capitalism. Exhibit A:

Further evidence that maybe we should all adopt the following motto: Just because you can do it doesn't mean it's a good idea.

I'm sorry I stumbled on this because now I can't get back that 60 seconds of my life; I thought I'd share with you all so I wouldn't have to suffer alone.

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Whack-a-Mole

image credit: sarmonster.net

It occurred to me today, while responding to at least three interruptions while I was taking a shower in a locked bathroom, that parenting five children is a lot like playing Whack-a-mole. I am required to be ever vigilant, watching for little heads to pop and need something. Instead of whacking them (don't tempt me), I must quickly discern what the situation requires and deliver it promptly, leaving me free to respond to the next popping head.

Put your head down on a pillow? A head pops, needing a band-aid or a barf bucket. Sit down to Facebook? A head pops, needing a time-out or a missing sock. Attempt a conversation with another adult? A head pops, needing to process hurt feelings or exhibiting signs of developmental upheaval by shrieking at regular intervals. Try to watch something on TV or read a book in peace? Two heads pop, requiring you to step in as referee, which will inevitably end with one of the heads thinking you are evil and mean and accusing you of withholding your love and affection.

The best you can hope for is a positive ratio of non-popping heads to popping ones. Or you can hope that someone steals the mallet and whacks you into blessed unconsciousness.

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Lessons from Egypt

I sat down with my kids to watch the news from Egypt this week. Yes, even the little ones. I wanted them to see people demonstrating for freedom and standing up for what they believe. The experience has led to some interesting conversations.

First, shortly after I told them how the Egyptian people are tired of a leader who treats them unfairly and doesn't let them have their freedom, it was time for our evening chores. The 10 year old announced: "Mom, I'm fighting for my freedom! I am not going to do my chore!" So...I am Mubarek in this scenario? Civics are more complicated and nuanced than I thought.

Second, one of the kids asked me this question: "Mom, if you lived in Egypt, would you be out there in the streets doing what all those people are doing?" I told them that I would. I said it was important to stand up for yourself, for human rights like freedom and dignity, for something you believe in. Then I thought about them: where would these kids be while I was out there in the streets with a fist in the air? At the same time, Lola asked: "Would you take us with you?" No way, I told them. This made me think of the mothers of Egypt. And all of the women in Egypt who are so absent from the pictures we are seeing on TV and the internet. I told the kids that I would have to see if I could demonstrate while also keeping my children safe, and also that I would have to consider the possibility of something bad happening to me. "That would be bad for you guys, so I might choose to stay with you, rather than risking being injured or killed. So I guess the real answer is, I don't know. But I do know that I would want to be there, and that I would support the demonstrators and teach my children to do the same."

Third, I asked them if they noticed anything about the crowds. "They're all angry?" Vincenzo offered. "There are a lot of them?" suggested Lola. They didn't notice the absence of women, as I had hoped they would. So I pointed out to them how few women were present. Lola said: "That's because they're all at home taking care of their kids!" Little as I know about Egypt, I picked my way through a general explanation of how the country is 90% Muslim and that in many Muslim countries, women cannot be as involved in public life as they are here and other places. So yes, some are home taking care of children, deciding that's a better place for them to be. But not all Egyptian women have children, and even among those who do, there are certainly many who would like to participate in the movement happening around them. They can't, because of the culture they live in. Lola: "That's just wrong." Yes, it is, my dear.

Fourth, my son made an Egypt scene out of legos, complete with army tanks. The scene is playing out on our coffee table as I type. I think this means he is a tactile learner.

I am surprised at how much I do not know about Egypt and the other countries experiencing upheaval this week. I have much to learn. My kids and I will learn together.

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7 Quick Takes: Volume 26: The Feel Better Edition

Friday. Deep fry day? French fry day? Small fry day? Fish fry day? Bats in the bell-fry day? Makes no difference to me, I'll take Friday any way I can get it.

Welcome to 7 Quick Takes Friday. This edition is short and simple, due to the fact that I am tending to little vomiters and cannot ignore my kids with my usual gusto. So today, I bring you a list of 7 things that make me feel better when I am overwhelmed or feeling like too much is going on around me. I will be doing all of these things today, which will hopefully carry me straight on through to bedtime.

~ 1 ~

Running my washer and dryer. Something about the sound of those machines humming along in my garage makes me feel efficient and capable. Go figure.

~ 2 ~

Straightening my couch cushions and pillows, and folding blankets. A tangible, immediately gratifying way to make order out of chaos.

~ 3 ~

Setting the timer for 10 minutes and putting things away. I'm always surprised by what a difference I can make in just 10 minutes. It's doable, simple, and satisfying.

~ 4 ~

Sitting down with a tall drink of water. Just sitting and drinking. Nothing productive, unless you count taking good care of yourself as productive. Which I suppose I do.

~ 5 ~

Listening to NPR. (For today, I'll add pledging to my local station to the list: why don't you do the same?) NPR is my lifeline to the world. Listening inspires me. Too bad Peter Sagal keeps ignoring me, but I find myself devoted nonetheless.

~ 6 ~

Reading. Pretty self-explanatory.

~ 7 ~

Saying a prayer or two. Or twenty. To be honest, my prayers run along the desperate cry for help lines, rather than meditative and peaceful lines. More God help me make sense of this chaos and help me through the next 5 minutes and less walking beside peaceful waters. There will, I trust, be time for that kind of prayer. Right now, surviving the years of young children necessitates the short bursts of intense prayer that remind me that I am loved, I am able to love others, and that like the lilies of the field, I need not worry. Twenty times a day.

* * *

Feel better? I do.

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Please visit the original, and check out other Quick Takers.

Peeve

While waiting at a stop light today, I saw the following phrase on the back of the truck in front of me:

"If you can read this, your to close."

The lettering had been professionally painted, in fancy cursive script, and then outlined in a contrasting color. It was quite pretty, and clearly a certain amount of painstaking hard work went into the effort. Too bad no one threw any of that care and attention in the direction of a grammarian.

I wish I had been too far away to read it; instead, I sat at that light for what seemed like an eternity, staring at not one but two grammar offenses, waiting for red to turn green, so I could be on my way.

Grammar errors bug the crap out of me. Maybe it's obsessive or cynical or just plain weird, but bad grammar – public bad grammar – confirms my worst fears that our culture is dying a slow, painful, pathetic death.

You'd think I wouldn't have time to care about such things. Unfortunately for me, apparently I do.

* * *

What's your pet peeve?

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A Hormones Classic

Four more days in my cycle to go, I wanna be sequestered

Nothin' I can do nowhere I can go, I wanna be sequestered

Just get me a hot pad, put me in my bed

Hurry hurry hurry 'fore I whack you in the head

I can't control my hormones so I'll let them rage instead

Oh no no no no no

Three more days in my cycle to go, I wanna be sequestered

Nothin' I can do nowhere I can go, I wanna be sequestered

Just get me some Motrin, stay out of my way

Hurry hurry hurry 'fore I regret what I say

I can't control my temper, I scream and yell all day

Oh no no no no no

Two more days in my cycle to go, I wanna be sequestered

Nothin' I can do nowhere I can go, I wanna be sequestered

Just give me peace and quiet, shut your damn pie hole

Hurry hurry hurry before I go loco

I can't control the bloating I can't control the flow

Oh no no no no no

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go, I wanna be sequestered

Nothin' I can do nowhere I can go, I wanna be sequestered

Just put me in a red tent and throw away the key

Hurry hurry hurry before Linda Blair is me

I can't control the crazy so I think I'll let it be.

Oh no oh oh oh oh

Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sequestered

Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sequestered

Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sequestered

Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba I wanna be sequestered

* * *

You know you have a big family when...

...you are at a cafe all by yourself, and you grab a stack of napkins a foot high to use while you sip your tea and eat your red velvet cupcake.

* * *

Barrier Schmarrier

image source

Apparently, my kids have decided that today's homeschooling lesson will be to play with the sound barrier and see if they can break it. I think they're damn close.

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Daybook, 25 January 2011

Outside my window....bright, cold, sunny, gorgeous, with a side of police car siren thrown in.

I am thinking...that I'm never going to survive my to do list.

I am thankful for...friends with good advice about not trying to survive my to do list. Do what's right in front of me, right D'bee?

From the kitchen...chocolate chip zucchini bread.

I am wearing...green v-neck t-shirt, black work out pants.

I am creating...my own personal chaos theory!

I am going....to beat someone with my to do list after I roll it up into a baton.

I am reading...the situation, which is telling me I have no time to read my current book, which is (if memory serves) Diary of a Country Priest.

I am hoping...for 26 hours a day in an 8 day week.

I am hearing...my daughter singing "Lean on Me."

Around the house...two new sets of bunk beds are in boxes in the living room, waiting to be put together.

One of my favorite things...listening to my daughter sing. Offkey.

A few plans for the rest of the week: survive the to do list, accomplish the impossible, keep breathing, don't forget to eat. Shepherd the children through the day without damaging them too much.

And a picture:

Thanks Nicole for Daybook inspiration; play along at the simple woman's daybook.

Late Night with Lady E

Daddy, can I have some of your blue painters tape so I can put it over my mouth? Because I want to go to sleep, but I'm all like "chat chat."

-- Lady E

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