As the last few posts have shown, teenager-ness is dominating my life right now. I'm sure (I hope) that by the time my 3rd, 4th, and 5th kids are teenagers, I will be a pro at this, but for now, everything is new and challenging. I'm definitely still getting my Teenager Legs. I'm almost at the point where I don't need to run to the starboard side and vomit over the railing every time there is an upheaval. Almost.
Anyway, I've got Teenager-ness on the brain. Thus, this quiz.
(1) Finish the following sentence: "Trying to get a teenager to help with the weekend yard work is like ___________________." (Bonus points if you include "with a helpful attitude" after the phrase "weekend yard work."
(2) Scenario: Your teen has an evening guitar recital for which he is less than prepared, and he has expressed to you that he really needs to practice because he can't get through his song without mistakes. He is spending the entire afternoon hiding in his room, playing video games on his iPod Touch rather than practicing. You should handle this situation by doing which of the following:
(a) Stuff a sock in your mouth to keep yourself from reminding him one more time to practice. Stifle the urge -- at great cost to your equilibrium -- to obsess over how he is going to feel if he falls apart during the perfomance. Ignore the rising anxiety and agitation you are feeling until you explode.
(b) Serenely remind yourself that it's his gig, and his responsibility, and that whatever happens will be just fine and wonderful, either a great performance or a learning experience. It's all good. Go pick tomatoes while he click-clicks the afternoon away.
(c) Give in. Remind him. Scold him. Badger him. Yell, if need be. Make the little ingrate practice.
(3) Which of these actions produces the least desirable result:
(a) poking a bear.
(b) waking a teenager.
(c) smashing your car into a telephone poll.
Write your answers on the back of a gift certificate for a full-service afternoon at the Claremont Hotel Spa and send it to me asap. (Yes, I did take that from the Car Talk guys...although they don't aim high enough...)
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