The other day, a college friend of mine sent me a text about how difficult it was to get her son packed for a week away at camp. This friend and I text frequently, often to vent about how much the kids we love so much are driving us crazy. I have only recently become a texter: i'm late to the game, but making up for lost time. How did I live without texting? It keeps me connected to my peeps! I get dating updates from one friend, trade parenting woes with another, and make plans with people on the fly. It's awesome. (I know, everyone knows this already: like I said, I'm late to the game.)
And as for my college friend, many a text conversation with her has made me laugh enough to get me through a difficult evening. Here's the one we had tonight:
My turn for packing hell.
Excuse me for a moment, nut Joey
seems possessed and out of control.
He's screaming and hitting his sister.
Packing up 6 people with no one
listening to me: the definition of SUCKS.
Me at my most ineffectual.
And I really want to scream and hit him.
OK...yes. Back to you.
Have a glass of wine instead.
Don't ask them to help.
Just pack them and be happy
they are going to grandmas.
In fact, sing a merry tune
as you pack for them.
What, let them watch tv while
I kill myself packing??????
I'd kill them! I'd go into a
fit of rage and lose it!!!!
Hmmmmmmm. Yeah, that
Lola, of course, packed all
her stuff in 10 mins.
I want 5 lolas.
The rest of them suck.
Why are you packing for 6?
Aren't only 3 going?
Six of us driving down and
spending one night; leaving three
there until next Friday!
Can't you leave all 5?!
And the two younger ones are
going to the other grandmas
for three days next week.
Can Joey go too?
No: I don't accept hitters and screamers.
Joey is that kid that if you get
mad at him, it pisses him off more.
Well, you're really selling him!
He's bugging me this afternoon.
And I even took him to the zoo today.
Sorry about packing hell.
Thanks. I should go pull on my
hip boots and wade into
the laundry room...apparently
they really won't pack themselves.
Can you help each of them one at a time?
The boys went out to the car to
find the dog leash but they couldn't
so now they're just sitting
there honking the horn.
I want to strangle them.
I feel bad for the neighbors.
K, I'm going to give u updates from
hell as the evening wears on...
Why did I draw the short straw?
Rick is, supposedly, working,
or something like that.
I'm up to my elbows in socks, and
the littlest just came into the
garage to announce that NONE
of the other ones are in the house.
They have apparently scattered.
Only two had permission to walk the dog.
Where the hell are the other two??
Now the littlest wants to know if
she can ride her scooter in the house.
No scooters in the house.
I think she smells weakness:
knows I'm on edge and
and a little later...
Now Lola is going INSANE bc we
just got confirmation that grandma
has ESPN and she can watch the US
women play Brazil on Sunday morning.
I forget how loud she can be.
and still later...
I just told Jim he needs to
work on his parenting
skills...it didn't really go over well.
Gee, that's hard to figure!
In between loads of laundry, I finished
reading to kill a mockingbird to the kids
tonight...got all teary at the end
and really freaked 'em out.
Still have miles to go before I sleep...
* * *
And that, my friends, is how I survived packing my kids to go to grandma's house. Thanks college friend!