Of Pilot Lights and Washing Machines

The pilot light in my oven is out. This is a first. I'm used to the front right stovetop burner going out on me, and am familiar with how to re-light it. We keep matches in the drawer next to that burner just for such occasions.

But the oven? I haven't a clue. So I have a giant glass pyrex dish full of 18 chicken legs all dressed up with no place to go. It's very sad. Those ladies look positively forlorn.

My son, however, suggested a solution: "Maybe I should sit on it!"

There is precedence. Last week, my washing machine futzed out right after filling with water, and it stayed that way long enough for the soaking wet contents to start to smell. I was this close to inviting a repairman into the deep, dark hole that is my garage, something I was loathe to do given the high embarrassment factor. Four days went by, and the stench was rising. The only reason I made it that long is that the last load to make it successfully through was chock full of underwear (both genders!) and socks. Then, right before I gave in and made that call, I mentioned for the trazillionth time that I was very bummed about the machine being broken.

Son #2 decided it was time for this little gem: "I sat on the washing machine yesterday and it started up!"

Apparently, he was looking to see if his jeans had fallen behind the dryer. I dashed out to the garage and started looking around for heavy stuff. After several iterations, I hit upon a combo of heavy stuff that worked and WAHOO! the washing machine went on. I didn't need a repairman after all! All I needed was two thick books, two landscaping rocks, and an anvil. Simple. It seems the latch needs a little extra encouragement to do its job.

So the answer to this morning's quiz is, in fact, C. Thanks to everyone who submitted answers! Oh wait...no one submitted an answer. No one. Not one single solitary person.

Sigh. Sniff.

* * *

Just to see if any of you are actually awake, I'm giving you another quiz: Should I take my son's suggestion and try to fix the oven pilot light while he is sitting on top of the stove?

(a) YES
(b) NO
(c) I'M CALLING CPS RIGHT NOW
(d) IF THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS TO DO, WHO ARE YOU TO STAND IN HIS WAY?
To make things more interesting, tonight's quiz includes two essay questions. These can be in short or long answer format.

1.) How long will Monica be moving two books, an anvil, and two landscaping stones on and off of her washing machine every time she does a load of laundry? Please discuss her interior motivations, as well as any external contributing factors. Extra credit will be given if you say nice things about her.

2.) How long will Monica be using her neighbor's oven to cook dinner? (Thanks Emmett for saving the Chicken Leg Ladies tonight!) If you are her husband, for your answer, please take into account the amount of time you will need to find the oven manual, how many nights this week you will be meeting with clients and/or on a soccer field, and how many small children you will be stepping over and around while doing the job. If you are not her husband, for your answer, just go ahead and make her a dinner and drop it off at her house.

Cast your votes and submit your answers! Even if you're calling CPS, at least I'll know you're out there and reading.

* * *

Comments

nicole said…
how about you have your son sit on the washer and then have him switch the loads and fold the load all while sitting on the washer.
as for pilot lights...call someone...please...or just serve cereal every meal!!
Viv said…
You may recall that at one point my stove failed to work, so I a.) purchased one of those induction hot plates, and b.) also purchased a little convection oven which required me to make and serve dinner in batches.

Any advice I could offer here, could only be bad advice, based on my own personal experiences.
Teacher Mommy said…
All of the above?

I think that's the automatic answer. At least my seniors think so.

This is why I haven't been online in AGES.
bleu said…
LOL... too funny. Although I'm sure it was no laughing matter. But yes, I'm saying, call someone. In the meantime fire up that toaster oven and thank goodness for neighbors.

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