Something New Under the Sun

Well. We had a new thing happen around here last night. This is a first for us.

My 8 and 5 year-old daughters are in bunk beds, with the younger one on the top bunk these days. They switch sometimes. Long about midnight, I heard this little one crying desperately in her room. She sounded completely panicked, and as I rushed to her room, I fully expected to find her in a puddle of vomit. Instead, she was sitting, immobilized, at the top of her ladder. No vomit. But she could not move because she had to pee so badly (apparently, we had neglected the most critical of the bedtime routine steps). Actually, by the time I got there, she was sobbing uncontrollably and gasping out between sobs: "I....can'!" Sure enough, she started going. Over the slats of her bed. Right above her sister's head. Right down onto her sleeping sister's head and pillow.

The challenge before me was to soothe the pee-er and move the pee-ee, without getting peed upon myself. And when a girl needs to go that badly, there is no small amount of pee in question. I realized quickly that there was no stopping the watershed. Once loosed upon the world, it was coming in its entirety. So I turned my attention to the girl on the receiving end. I slid my arms under her as best I could while keeping a safe distance, which can't be done gently. I half rolled, half tossed her over to the other side of the bed. Mission complete. The pee kept on coming, and coming, and coming. The pee-er's sobs continued unabated. It was a pitiful sight.

When the deluge finally came to an end, I gently lifted the miserable little pee-soaked child down to the floor, tried my best to comfort her without actually coming in contact with urine, and helped her up to the bathroom for a midnight bath.

She cried and cried. She was cold and miserable, and the tub took a long time to fill up enough to keep her warm. She was heartbreakingly sweet and cute at the same time: my heart melted and re-melted during the entire bath.

I left her there cold and miserable for a moment, to go remove the former pillow, now pee lagoon, from the 8 year old's bed. I eyed her for a few moments, determined that she was fast asleep enough, and sufficiently saved from the worst of the pee, that I was going to leave her until morning. I didn't need two crying girls in the middle of the night.

All ended well. I got Lady E cleaned up, dried off, and cozied up in fresh jammies. I tucked her into bed next to her daddy, warm and happy.

I removed all pee soaked bedding from the bunk beds, and left a damp daughter sleeping unawares. When she woke up in the morning, and padded into the kitchen with some funky hair and a sleepy disposition, I suggested in my most inviting and encouraging voice that she take a nice warm bath to wake up. She thought that sounded lovely, and off she went.

So. A little midnight interlude, and now I can say been there, done that to any anecdote about siblings peeing on each other.

Never a dull moment!

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image credit:

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nicole said…
never a dull moment. did you survive picture day?
Teacher Mommy said…
O. M. G.

Trying so hard not to laugh uproariously. But oh so pitiful! Well done, my dear, well done.

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