I'm Pretty Sure This is Considered Cheating, but I'm Proceeding Anyway

For my 11th post in as many days, I am going to steal shamelessly, because I got a very funny email forwarded to me today. I did a bit of searching around the net to see if I could find someone to credit for this bit of genius...no luck. So whoever you are, hats off to you!

Enjoy some funniness, people.

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THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 4 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

Each child will need a wrapped birthday gift for 2 parties during the six weeks, to which the men will r.s.v.p., drop off and pick up.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla, and one marker & get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

One pet will be distributed to each man and he will be solely responsible for daily feedings and exercise, waste removal, grooming, and at least two veterinary appointments.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment, and an appointment for a haircut. He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function and attend a teacher conference.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keep it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply themselves either while driving or making four lunches. They must adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished, and hair and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, they will have to endure severe stomach cramps, back aches, skin breakouts, and have extreme unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from their duties.

They must attend weekly PTA meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. He will happily play board games, Legos, Barbies, Play Doh, as well as color and read stories whenever the children ask.

During the day the t.v. may only be tuned to Nickelodeon and he will be responsible for monitoring the appropriate amount of t.v. watching per child.

He will need to pray with the children each night, bathe them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00.

A test will be given a the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size, doctor's name and phone number. Also each child's favorite color, favorite toy, best friend's name and phone number, favorite snack, favorite story, favorite drink, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better. They will be responsible, during that time, to have the appropriate medication on hand and keep up dosages at the correct time intervals.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins ONLY if... he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moments notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years... eventually earning the right to be called MOTHER!

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Comments

Teacher Mommy said…
Ugh. Too true. It's almost funny, but then I look at real life and realize it really isn't...
Kerri said…
I LOVE this post. I am borrowing it for bit to pass around.

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