I Speak Facebook

"Monica is listening to music and preparing cinnamon french toast and turkey bacon, while soft rain falls outside and the children dance adorably through the house."

That's Facebook-eze for I haven't showered yet and the whiney children keep telling me they're hungry and I have to use this french bread or it will be hard enough to use as a blunt force object. The kitchen is an abysmal mess and I don't have anywhere to set down this freaking spatula I'm holding. I'm facing a day with all of them indoors because the weather sucks, and I wish it were 5 o'clock because I just got up but could really use a drink. Can someone make these wild banshees shut up? And if I have to listen to this infernal kiddie-music for five more minutes I think my ears are going to pop off the sides of my head. I am swirling amidst utter chaos.

Facebook makes my life sound so much nicer.

Virtual Life, 1; The Real Thing, 0.



Viv said…
My status updates are more like... Viv is disgusted, but not disgusting because today she is actually freshly showered.

Maybe that is why I can't seem to really get a grasp on Facebook and only have like two friends, hmmm?
Anonymous said…
Thanks for clearing that up. I was feeling so inadequate as a mother before I knew the real deal. haha
Jen said…
How is it possible that we aren't sisters?

As soon as you mentioned not being able to find a spot to set down the spatula, it was like the scene in Fight Club where Edward Norton realizes he and Tyler Durden are actually the same person.

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