14 February 2009

I Speak Facebook

"Monica is listening to music and preparing cinnamon french toast and turkey bacon, while soft rain falls outside and the children dance adorably through the house."

That's Facebook-eze for I haven't showered yet and the whiney children keep telling me they're hungry and I have to use this french bread or it will be hard enough to use as a blunt force object. The kitchen is an abysmal mess and I don't have anywhere to set down this freaking spatula I'm holding. I'm facing a day with all of them indoors because the weather sucks, and I wish it were 5 o'clock because I just got up but could really use a drink. Can someone make these wild banshees shut up? And if I have to listen to this infernal kiddie-music for five more minutes I think my ears are going to pop off the sides of my head. I am swirling amidst utter chaos.

Facebook makes my life sound so much nicer.

Virtual Life, 1; The Real Thing, 0.

***

3 comments:

Viv said...

My status updates are more like... Viv is disgusted, but not disgusting because today she is actually freshly showered.

Maybe that is why I can't seem to really get a grasp on Facebook and only have like two friends, hmmm?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for clearing that up. I was feeling so inadequate as a mother before I knew the real deal. haha

Jen said...

How is it possible that we aren't sisters?

As soon as you mentioned not being able to find a spot to set down the spatula, it was like the scene in Fight Club where Edward Norton realizes he and Tyler Durden are actually the same person.

Never Enough Words

When I was little, in our house in San Francisco, my parents – the wonderful Larry and Rose – hung a banner on the wall. This was the 70’s: ...