05 March 2013

For Those of You Who Have Children and Don't Know It...

A friend sent me these hilarious Church Bulletin Bloopers tonight, and after laughing so hard I couldn't breathe for several minutes, I had to wonder if these are real or if some clever person made them up.

I can absolutely believe that these typos could happen in real life: I once proofread some copy that was supposed to say Public Policy Training, and completely overlooked the fact that the first word was missing a 'L,' so I have some first hand experience with outrageous misprints.

And I have to say, I don't really care if each of these is from real life or not; when something makes me laugh this hard, I just say THANK YOU.  And then I share.  So even though I'm sure this is receiving wide circulation via email and on social networks, I happily offer it to you as well.

CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS AND TYPOS 
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
-------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
-------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
-------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
----------------------------------------------.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

You're welcome!

* * *

No comments:

Open A Drawer

Today's 15 minute writing exercise, from The Observation Deck: A Tool Kit for Writers , by Naomi Epel ______________________ I thrust my...