Job Opening

Today I was thinking about writing. I do this frequently, in lieu of actually writing. So I was pondering the problem that writing presents which is basically this: you have to tell the truth. You can't hide behind much of anything at all, or what you write will be boring at best and bad at worst.

And bam: there in my head was a Marine Corps Drill Sargeant Type, standing over me and shouting:

"You've got to stand somewhere! This writing thing, this writing happens in the most uncomfortable room you've ever been in, sister: no comfy chairs or couches, no blankets or pillows, lady, nothin'! Nothing to get comfortable on, so you've got to stand up or you're gonna fall down on your ASS! You a little uncomfortable??!? Good! That's exactly where you should be, or your should get your ass out of this house!"

OK, so maybe I don't need quite that level of animosity clamoring down on my head, but I do need that drill sargent pushing me to stand up. Writing isn't for the weak, and it's not for those who would prefer sitting somewhere comfortable, sipping on a Mint Julep. (Of course, a writer can take a much-deserved break to do such things...in another room, where cushions actually exist.)

So, I'm in the market for a drill sargeant.

Job Qualifications: Ability to speak Truth to Weakness. Experience yelling the following:

You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!

Desired, not required: Proficiency in making Old-Fashioneds. Ability and willingness to change diapers. 10+ years of experience simultaneously being threatening and pumping sunshine.

Anyone out there want to be my motivational, life/writing coach, drill sargent, and personal bad ass?

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Comments

Viv said…
So that is where my future lies...I've always suspected that I must be qualified to do something!
Karen said…
You know I'm always up for that - I even have all the requirements!
Sarah said…
Holy funny I'm on my ass with this:

10+ years of experience simultaneously being threatening and pumping sunshine.

I only have 7+ years of experience but I swear that I could make up those 3 missing years by yelling BRING ME THE TRUTH the loudest.

A personal badass. I feel you. I need one too. But for other reasons. So many we can help each other out. I'll hold you to the writing if you can haul my ass out of bed at 5:00 am. Deal?
Monica, just had to stop by because you made my night with your comment earlier. Thank you for affirming what I feel is one of my more courageous posts. And on that note, you are requiring the same of yourself more and more, but I just have to say that in affirming me in stepping out as I have, despite the fact that it would have been MUCH easier to just stay silent, I feel like you played a very important role today in being my you-go-girl person. It helped balance out the anonymous comments -- which always seem slinky to me. I think there is a balance here. I think we should save the bold posts for when we are feeling so strongly about something that we are sick to our stomachs and know we must say something. In between those, we should go gently, softer, because the world needs a lot more of that. But I'm here to encourage you toward bold, too, when the situation calls for it.!

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