Let's Stop Kidding Ourselves

My son's entire school went to see the movie Bully this morning.  I highly recommend that you do two things: the first, which I did, is go see it.  The second, which I did not, is bring kleenex.

When it comes to bullying, adults are letting kids down in this country.  We are giving ineffectual advice to victims and kidding ourselves that "this too shall pass."  Kids and families need and deserve more than wishful thinking and crossed fingers; they need their suffering to stop.

I don't know what the answer is.  The first step, as in all such things, is awareness, so please, please see this movie.  Get your school or district to sponsor a screening.  Promote it on your social networks and blogs.  Get it out there.  Let people see what is happening in our schools and communities.

This movie is not the answer; a whole lot of people have to be made very uncomfortable and highly inconvenienced before we have an answer.  Adults need to pull their heads from their nether regions and do something hard, meaningful, practical and real to stop kids from hurting other kids.  This movie is only a place to start, but we need that place badly.

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I Get It Now

I was 11 years old during the 1980 presidential election. My family went to an Election Night party, which I thought was great fun, until I saw -- and was utterly confused by -- adults crying over the result. It was a revelation then that grown up people could get emotional over something like an election.

I get it now. I'm spending the day listening to non-stop no-news and choking back tears. I'm hoping for tears of joy instead of the despair my parents' friends felt all those years ago.

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Fun With Water Feature

We came across this picture last night as the girls and I were watching family slide shows.  I snapped this shot one lovely warm summer day; the artistry is Lady E's.

I love it.  It makes me smile.  I hope it does the same for you.

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And that is all for today, a day of deadlines and dashes.

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Beyond Me

She has done it again.

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It would be hard for me to convey the contempt with which my oldest child treats my fourth born.   It is certainly hard for me to witness how hard he is on her, how hard all four of them are on her, actually.  She is the one: the one who bears the brunt of the mistreatment around here.

And I've said it many times: it's a good thing it's her.  She handles it, almost always, with a detachment, a confidence, and a degree of spunk that means she thrives in spite of it.

That alone would make her a marvel.  But then, she does things that just leave me speechless.

This week, her oldest sibling is away on a school trip, an annual pilgrimage of our school's 8th grade class.  The trip meant missing Halloween.  Yes, he's 14, but he's got a sweet tooth the size of the Empire State building, and he would knock on Mitt Romney's door, if he thought he'd get some candy out of the deal.  So missing Halloween was damn near devastating for him.

Today, when we got home from school, I told the littles (the 6 and 8 year olds are home with me while everyone else is out) that since tomorrow is a holiday at school (WTH is up with that?), they could watch a movie after they did a little clean up.  During the clean up, I told Lady E to put her halloween candy bag away.  Here is what she said to me:

"But I was going to go through my candy bag and add to Sam's!"

Me:  "What do you mean, Sam's bag?"

She walked me over to Sam's door and pointed to his pillow.  Resting on it was a red cloth bag, patterned in skulls, clearly full of candy.

Me: "Did you make that bag for Sam?"

Lady E: "Yes!  And I was going to go through the rest of my candy while I'm watching the movie, and pick out more candy for him.  Can I leave my bag out so I can do that?"

Um.  Yes.  Yes, you can do that.   Why on earth you want to is beyond me.  How you thought of doing that in the first place is beyond me.  Why you want to be so generous and thoughtful to a big brother who is even meaner to you than mine was is beyond me.  Your goodness is beyond me.

Seriously, people, that kid is good to the core.  She screams and fights sometimes, she complains and sulks, and sometimes makes me want to slice off my own ears.  But then, she completely, totally, utterly restores my faith in all of humanity.

Given that I am a cynic, this is no easy task, and she accomplishes it with a simplicity and grace I am left to pray for.

She came into the world with that spirit, that charism.  Good to know that I officially don't have to worry about her ever again.

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